Ten Eternal Questions

I picked up a book called Ten Eternal Questions by Zoe Sallis. Ten questions are posed and answered by numerous artists, stars and presidents etc. These people, according to the book, shape the world, but when the spotlight is off, what do they think about things that really matter?

I believe we all shape the world, but in more quiet subtle ways so I want to know what you think about the ten eternal questions.

1. What is your concept of God?
2. Do you think that life is all there is, or do you believe in the afterlife?
3. Do you accept the concept of Karma, or the sense of cause and effect?
4. What is your moral code in relation to right and wrong?
5. Do you believe in destiny, and do you see yourself as here to fulfill it?
6. What has life taught you so far?
7. What advice or words of wisdom would you like to pass on to those close to you?
8. Do you believe our survival on planet Earth is being threatened?
9. Who do you most admire in this world, historical or living?
10. How do you find peach within yourself?

Next week - My answer to question 1. Join me! Peace

Cynicism and a Side of Fries -- PART II

Well, I just had to return to the scene of the crime. A good friend of mind read my first post on this subject and said he was gonna blast me because I am successful and have accomplished a great deal and he said that I was not giving those things credit. I explained that the point of the post was not to be down on what I have done or accomplished but to point out how different it is from where I dreamed ( as a kid growing up) I would be. I wanted to be a school teacher and live on a big piece of land and have horses. Thanks to Katrina crushing our waterfront home, we have moved to slightly higher ground on a big piece of land. Don't have my horse yet but soon...... And then there's that teaching thing. I got to thinking about what my friend said and he is right. If we frame our expectatations by rigid definition of what those dreams are, then yes, maybe I really missed the mark. But...... if you define teaching in broader terms, then I am a teacher. I don't go to a classroom and teach math or science.... instead I am on a field with a bunch of soccer balls coaching a eight 8 and 9 year old girls the game of soccer, how to be a team and how to have fun. I mentor two of the best kids in the world and I teach them science and help them with their math. So here I am.....realizing my dreams.... just in a different way then I thought I would. And next week I will be in the halls of the Pentagon, meeting with people that many only dream of. Hmmm. Dreams....There goes that word again. The thing that I must constantly remind myself is that God has a plan for me. And it will be on his timetable, not mine.

Cynicism and a Side of Fries

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered if you were meant for something bigger? In the quiet times when you aren't being pulled in directions nine ways to Sunday, do you think about the dreams you had when you were growing up and wonder how you managed to find yourself in such a different place than you had imagined? My dreams are a lot like a game of golf. I have been on the tee so many times and then I sliced it or hooked it but that ball sure ain't on the fairway. So, I end up driving around trying to find that thing that I just had my hands on, but is lost in the woods or the sand trap. And then football.... The next thing I know I am standing in the End Zone screaming "I'm Open, Throw me the ball" and instead the quarterback is sacked for a twenty yard loss. The touchdown just out of my grasp.

Is there a point to this? Hell NO!!!! Sometimes, you are the bug, sometimes you are the windshield.

Fallen - by Sara Maclaughlin

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so lowI have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone

But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know

Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so lowI have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Always On Your Side

Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
my demons and my angels reappeared
Leavin' only traces of the man you thought I'd be
Too afraid to hear the words i always fear
leaving you with only questions all these years

Is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wander, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wander, all alone, eternally
But this isn't how it's really meant to be
Oh it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

Life Happens

Have you ever stopped to wonder when your train derailed and you got off the track? Think about the answers to these questions below. Feel free to post a response. What I have learned is that happiness is a choice. We wake up every day with the ability to make the choice to be happy! The choice to like what we do or hate it. The choice to look at each day as a miracle or a chore. Life happens and sometimes we get off track but it doesn't mean we can't put the wheels back on the train and start moving forward again.

1. What is the one thing you didn't do that you regret the most?
2. What's stopping you from doing it now?
3. How would it change your life?

Some philosophical questions to ponder.

Peace to all

Happy Tracy's Day

Everyone who knows me - knows this: I do not have children. By choice. But on two occasions now, I have had great regrets over that choice. After the first event, I had the opportunity to get to know two very special kids, Bailey and Brennan. They have become a very significant part of my world. If you saw me with them and didn't know, you might think that I was their mother. I am not, but at the same time, I am something more.... Last Saturday I had the honor to attend Bailey's first communion. As I watched this big event in a dozen or so eight year olds lives, I was struck with a wave of regret for not having my own children. I struggled to hold back the tears and for the most part I managed, but it was not unnoticed by Bailey. She inquired as to why I was crying and I told her, I can't talk about it right now but I will tell you later. Of course, any of you who know any eight year olds, they don't forget. True to form, she asked me after the ceremony was over. I told her that I was sad because I did not have my own children. She walked me outside and told me she would be inside if I needed her... that alone was worth all the gold in Fort Knox. But, it didnt end there. I went home and on Sunday celebrated Mother's day with mine and my husbands parents. Late in the day, Bailey called me to see if I could come over. I told her I would try so she proceeded to tell me why she wanted me to come over. She had made me something you see. She had proclaimed that every mother's day from that day forward would also be known as Tracy's day because although I am not a parent, I am very special to her and she wanted to celebrate that every year on my special day. I went to see her and she gave me a hand-made card that had a million I love you's and a Happy Tracy's Day message that would melt any heart. I display this beautiful card on my refrigerator and will cherish it till I am departed from this earth, because, Bailey and Brennan love me. An unconditional love that everyone should be so lucky to experience.

The Final Countdown

Everybody join around and help us with the countdown. The final countdown of the Patman's move to the "farm". We fondly call it the Maple house. Its nestled on five acres of beautiful live and water oaks, cherry trees, magnolias and sweet gums. It sprawls from 39 feet to 48 feet at our slab and I am happy to not be worrying about any water, unless we have a flood of biblical proportions. Now that would be a kicker wouldn't it. I have lots of wood and a workshop, I should prepare the ark.

Seriously, we are finally moving to a place we can call ours again and I am so thrilled to be getting there. I am looking forward to the big bash on the first weekend in June!!

While you are at it, stop at Nikky D's for a beer and a bite. Good food, good company.

A Little Bit of Me

Just wanted to say hi to everyone and for those who don't know me - Here I am!

Just One Eye As it Turns Out!!

LOL - Well previously I was driving with my eyes closed and now, well its just one. After a long arduous year of tests, somebody, FINALLY, was able to tell me why I have double vision and this weird strobe light thing going on with my left eye....
DRUM ROLL Please!!!!!!!!!!!!! Superior Oblique Myokymia.... WTF you ask? Well, shortly it is a problem where my 4th cranial nerve and my superior oblique muscle in my left eye don't play well together! So, I have this rare neurological disorder shared by about 6000 people worldwide.. I am SOOOOOO proud, LOL. Good news, not life threatening... Bad news... Nasty medication. Works on the Wonky eye most of the time. Happy to now know its not MS or something equally bad. Don't cry for me Argentina! oh thats another story....What was I saying????

The Nature of Trust

Trust - Defined as: "Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing". Exactly what does that mean to you? Trust is sometimes difficult. Even when someone has shown you time and time again that you have every reason to trust them, the constant bombardment of our brain by media and sometimes friends, tells us we must doubt. However, we cannot live life fully and fruitfully if we allow ourselves to be infiltrated by doubt, in a world peppered with negativity and true friends will not tell you to doubt someone you know is trustworthy. So what do you do. To trust everyone is silly, to trust noone, sillier. Trust (yes, there is that word again) your gut and give the people who deserve it, the same trust that you expect them to have in you. It is the only way to live.

Driving With My Eyes Closed

Last night after the superbowl I was sitting in the dark watching Grey's Anatomy, pondering lifes imponderables and started thinking about the analogy I seem to be living right now. I actually sent an email to a friend about what I am now going to write. My daily life is like a drunk driver trying to keep it on a straight path to reach a destination that he might not get to. Only my path is a white line between anger and sadness and I swerve back and forth between the two hoping to reach happiness once again. I know I must drive the people around me crazy with this but I guess I will eventually do the angry thing all the time and then go into denial and then acceptance, those supposed stages of grief we all experience a loss. There is a fifth stage somewhere in there but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. I keep wondering when my big red Easy button is going to appear so I can press it and make the last 5 months of post-Katrina madness go away and the pretty beaches with our beautiful views to reappear. Sadly, I must say that won't be anytime soon. The coast still looks like an atomic bomb went off and people outside the region keep telling themselves it can't possibly be so bad. A picture isn't worth a thousand words in this case and only first hand viewing can give anyone the dose of reality that is our life in this place we call home. Peace.

Where Has Everyone Gone????

I have discovered Katrina fatigue.... I don't mean by the national media or the general population of the United States but by friends living in other areas of the country. In the first week, post Katrina, we heard from just about everyone we know around the country. With such utter destruction here, you hope that your closest friends will stay in touch to see how things are going. Sadly, this has truly not been the case. Before you label me as bitter,,, I am not. We all understand that life goes on inside and outside of the Katrina devastated region. We simply want to hear from our far away friends so that we can tell them we are doing better, and although we are far from recovered, we are making headway. Baby steps.... one toe at a time....