Cynicism and a Side of Fries -- PART II

Well, I just had to return to the scene of the crime. A good friend of mind read my first post on this subject and said he was gonna blast me because I am successful and have accomplished a great deal and he said that I was not giving those things credit. I explained that the point of the post was not to be down on what I have done or accomplished but to point out how different it is from where I dreamed ( as a kid growing up) I would be. I wanted to be a school teacher and live on a big piece of land and have horses. Thanks to Katrina crushing our waterfront home, we have moved to slightly higher ground on a big piece of land. Don't have my horse yet but soon...... And then there's that teaching thing. I got to thinking about what my friend said and he is right. If we frame our expectatations by rigid definition of what those dreams are, then yes, maybe I really missed the mark. But...... if you define teaching in broader terms, then I am a teacher. I don't go to a classroom and teach math or science.... instead I am on a field with a bunch of soccer balls coaching a eight 8 and 9 year old girls the game of soccer, how to be a team and how to have fun. I mentor two of the best kids in the world and I teach them science and help them with their math. So here I am.....realizing my dreams.... just in a different way then I thought I would. And next week I will be in the halls of the Pentagon, meeting with people that many only dream of. Hmmm. Dreams....There goes that word again. The thing that I must constantly remind myself is that God has a plan for me. And it will be on his timetable, not mine.

Cynicism and a Side of Fries

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered if you were meant for something bigger? In the quiet times when you aren't being pulled in directions nine ways to Sunday, do you think about the dreams you had when you were growing up and wonder how you managed to find yourself in such a different place than you had imagined? My dreams are a lot like a game of golf. I have been on the tee so many times and then I sliced it or hooked it but that ball sure ain't on the fairway. So, I end up driving around trying to find that thing that I just had my hands on, but is lost in the woods or the sand trap. And then football.... The next thing I know I am standing in the End Zone screaming "I'm Open, Throw me the ball" and instead the quarterback is sacked for a twenty yard loss. The touchdown just out of my grasp.

Is there a point to this? Hell NO!!!! Sometimes, you are the bug, sometimes you are the windshield.

Fallen - by Sara Maclaughlin

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so lowI have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone

But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know

Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so lowI have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...