Just One Eye As it Turns Out!!

LOL - Well previously I was driving with my eyes closed and now, well its just one. After a long arduous year of tests, somebody, FINALLY, was able to tell me why I have double vision and this weird strobe light thing going on with my left eye....
DRUM ROLL Please!!!!!!!!!!!!! Superior Oblique Myokymia.... WTF you ask? Well, shortly it is a problem where my 4th cranial nerve and my superior oblique muscle in my left eye don't play well together! So, I have this rare neurological disorder shared by about 6000 people worldwide.. I am SOOOOOO proud, LOL. Good news, not life threatening... Bad news... Nasty medication. Works on the Wonky eye most of the time. Happy to now know its not MS or something equally bad. Don't cry for me Argentina! oh thats another story....What was I saying????

The Nature of Trust

Trust - Defined as: "Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing". Exactly what does that mean to you? Trust is sometimes difficult. Even when someone has shown you time and time again that you have every reason to trust them, the constant bombardment of our brain by media and sometimes friends, tells us we must doubt. However, we cannot live life fully and fruitfully if we allow ourselves to be infiltrated by doubt, in a world peppered with negativity and true friends will not tell you to doubt someone you know is trustworthy. So what do you do. To trust everyone is silly, to trust noone, sillier. Trust (yes, there is that word again) your gut and give the people who deserve it, the same trust that you expect them to have in you. It is the only way to live.

Driving With My Eyes Closed

Last night after the superbowl I was sitting in the dark watching Grey's Anatomy, pondering lifes imponderables and started thinking about the analogy I seem to be living right now. I actually sent an email to a friend about what I am now going to write. My daily life is like a drunk driver trying to keep it on a straight path to reach a destination that he might not get to. Only my path is a white line between anger and sadness and I swerve back and forth between the two hoping to reach happiness once again. I know I must drive the people around me crazy with this but I guess I will eventually do the angry thing all the time and then go into denial and then acceptance, those supposed stages of grief we all experience a loss. There is a fifth stage somewhere in there but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. I keep wondering when my big red Easy button is going to appear so I can press it and make the last 5 months of post-Katrina madness go away and the pretty beaches with our beautiful views to reappear. Sadly, I must say that won't be anytime soon. The coast still looks like an atomic bomb went off and people outside the region keep telling themselves it can't possibly be so bad. A picture isn't worth a thousand words in this case and only first hand viewing can give anyone the dose of reality that is our life in this place we call home. Peace.

Where Has Everyone Gone????

I have discovered Katrina fatigue.... I don't mean by the national media or the general population of the United States but by friends living in other areas of the country. In the first week, post Katrina, we heard from just about everyone we know around the country. With such utter destruction here, you hope that your closest friends will stay in touch to see how things are going. Sadly, this has truly not been the case. Before you label me as bitter,,, I am not. We all understand that life goes on inside and outside of the Katrina devastated region. We simply want to hear from our far away friends so that we can tell them we are doing better, and although we are far from recovered, we are making headway. Baby steps.... one toe at a time....

Welcome To Coastal Confessions

Crazy - Yeah maybe I am. I, as many of my friends, are surviving the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Wouldn't you be a little touched by it all? Maybe you have seen us on the news or in pictures on the web, but nothing compares to pulling up to your property and finding it scattered to the four winds or waters, as it were. Imagine driving to the local watering hole, and to realize, there is literally nothing left of the life you knew. It is truly shocking. I knew when I left, that in all probability, there would be nothing left when we returned but still its unfathomable even 8 weeks later. Katrina may have washed away our belongings, but she did not wash away our spirit. We have been taught a very expensive lesson. What we hold close in our hearts should not be physical possessions, but the gifts of love, family and friendship. We have crawled above the rubble with those gifts still intact and because of it, we are truly blessed. Give me your thoughts. Be happy, be thankful. Life and love shine above it all. Peace. Tracy